Day 1561

…What do I do?

I stare at the pavement when I walk

And wonder how hungry I’ll be in ten years

I try not to make eye contact with strange men and don’t know how to hold my shoulders around women 

I want new shoes but need new tires but I’m walking so I wonder what need means 

I wish I played piano 

I wonder if I’ll teach my children 

I wonder if I’ll have children 

What do I do

I tell myself I’m confident and hate every word

I sweat too much 

I miss my youth but never want to be young again 

Sometimes when I listen to myself I don’t hear lies…

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